Nicolette was doing everything she could as the mother of a two-year-old daughter with another on the way. Making ends meet was already a challenge, and a three-month delay with Medicaid meant she had to pay for her care out of pocket. Because of a cervical cancer scare in her past, Nicollette’s doctor wanted to pay close attention to her pregnancy.
The cervical cancer health complication caused her to go into pre-term labor at 34 weeks, but Jaz’myn was born healthy and was able to come home just a few days after. Nicollette didn’t have paid maternity leave, so she had to return to work just seven weeks after Jaz’myn was born.
The same day she returned to work, Jaz’myn stopped breathing while asleep at their home and was taken to a children’s hospital. Nicollette rushed to the hospital, but her daughter had already been pronounced dead. She could do nothing but hold her baby girl in disbelief.
Three days later, Nicollette had to return to work. Some of her well-meaning coworkers asked about baby Jaz’myn, unaware of her death, so Nicollette relived the experience day after day. She ultimately had to find a new job where she could start fresh.
Nicollette sank into depression in the following months. She had anxiety attacks in her home and her relationship with Jaz’myn’s father suffered as they both tried to grieve in different ways. Eventually, she found SIDS Resources and groups on Facebook that provided support to help her cope.
“Getting advice from other parents who had the same experience helped, but the grief never goes away,” she said.
Parents like Nicollette know the only way to prevent others from experiencing the loss of a child is to talk about their experiences openly so that future parents can get access to the information they need and medical professionals can continue to learn and develop new practices to share with new and expectant mothers and families. Sharing stories and ideas with initiatives like FLOURISH St. Louis is the next step toward saving the life of a child.
Today, Nicollette continues to work with support groups for parents and hopes to start a nonprofit to help honor children who have died, in memory of her daughter, Jaz’myn.
“After a while, people stop mentioning her, but you need to keep talking about her,” said Nicollette. “My child was a person – she was here, even if it was for such a short period of time.” And through the efforts of initiatives like FLOURISH to reduce infant mortality, Nicollette hopes that future parents will never have to share in her experience.
FLOURISH St. Louis would like to share stories of families who have lost an infant or had a premature baby to help the community understand the challenges families face.
If you have a story or know of someone who would like to share their experiences, you can share your ideas. By sharing stories like Nicolette’s, we can help bring attention to this issue and make St. Louis a place that better supports the health of moms and babies.
